Marriage: types, dynamics of development, crises, and ways out of them
The family is formed and develops normally in the case when both husband and wife appreciate her and show understanding to each other. As a rule, in the case when someone refuses to compromise, show respect in the second half, the cell of society is developing in a disharmony that can lead to negative consequences.
To the marital relationship was long and strong, requires constant work on them two people. There are many stages of family life, each of which she receives a new round of development.
Harmonic type of family
This group includes types in which a family has problems, but both partners know about them and solve them together, choosing the correct methods:
- Traditional. This type of development is common. The main drawback of such a pair is that they strive to ensure that they had all the others, in their opinion, normal couples. As a rule, an example to follow, they do choose any. Partners in such a pair is frequently attached to each other very much, sometimes even hinders the development of the personality of each separately;
- Dependent. Such relationships are built on depending on emotions. The basis for them is the satisfaction of spouses, but in most cases, not two, but only one of them. This scenario family has a number of subtypes: the tyrant – victim, father – daughter, victim, rescuer, mother – son. Despite the fact that some of the subspecies imply tyranny, this cell type society refers to a harmonic, because of both their role are satisfied;
- Affiliate. This type is also called a Treaty. Both spouses in a family are committed to the development and welcome the personal development of its halves. Each of the partners takes on responsibility for the development of relations, they tend to be honest with each other. In this system, the marital relationship prevails understanding that represents the ability to listen, an opportunity to be heard and understood. Such pairs are distinguished by the presence of a compromise in all matters creative beginning;
- Harmonic. This type is considered ideal. The cell members of society understand the need to compromise. Their views on most domestic issues, the upbringing of the child, the rest are identical, but if in everyday life there are conflicts, they are resolved quickly.
Typically, these families look well, but behind the walls of their homes is not so smooth:
- Outwardly calm. For external harmony in family hiding the feeling of loneliness of each of the partners. Often the members of this cell of society comes a feeling that living with a spouse only takes away their precious time, but the sense of responsibility to the family and especially to children does not give such a pair to leave. Nobody wants to go to dialogue, compromise, sincerity is missing. Often both partners even to each other, pretend that all is well, although both realize the feelings have long faded, and everyone experiences this condition alone;
- Volcanic. In this system, too, there is no dialogue, but there are plenty of recriminations that continually expressed violently in conflict situations. Responsible for the development of the family in this case one of the spouses does not take over, but emotionally, everyone wants to Express their position;
- A sanatorium. Excessive concern about one of the members of the cell society with the time leads to the fact that the interaction in favor of only one partner becomes pathological. In this family everyone needs to abandon his claims in favor of another that has a negative impact especially for children. The psychology of the marital relationship of this pair is that ward does not give the expected attention and warmth than the lead in deep disorder, which gives warmth and care;
- Fortress. In the cell of every society perceives the world as a potential threat. They create their own little world, but it is because of the hostile mood not there is harmony and warmth. Suffer in such unit of society and children who grow up withdrawn, and sometimes antisocial personalities;
- Three's a crowd. The relationship of the pair is so close that nobody, not even a child, they do not need. If he is born, becomes an outcast for parents;
- Masquerade. In this pair the dynamics of development is supported only by competition. This is manifested in everything, and the witness of this "race" becomes the child who sees parents trying to prove to himself and the world that the second half is not right;
- Demonstrative. These types of conjugal relations, as this outwardly calm and family-like. The difference is that in this case there is no liability, which holds together a couple living under the scenario of external peace.
Dynamics of development
Each cell of society in its development has gone through several stages:
- Formation. This stage lasts from the beginning of marriage and to first childbirth. Each of the partners is"trying" and get used to the new role. At this stage, the introduction and adoption into the family of the new family. Both assume duties and responsibilities, and the dynamics in which they develop a conjugal relationship, is determined by the willingness of each to fulfil its obligations. The couples look at each other not as a white knight or Princess from a fairy tale, but as real people with flaws. At this stage it is important to"get used" to each other. In this period, there was pregnancy of the wife, it becomes a serious test for both;
- The birth of first child. With this event related periods of crisis in the couple. The attention of the woman rushes to the child, the man feels deprived. At this stage it is important to understand that both life will no longer be as carefree as before. You need to take on another obligation – the education of the child until until he becomes an adult and begins to live independently. At this stage of development and have other periods of crisis – when the child turns 3 and 7 years. In the first case, the woman usually comes out of maternity leave and returns to work, which is largely changing the way of life and there is a need to adapt to the new regime. In the second case, the life schedule is changing in connection with the departure of Chad to school;
- Termination of parenting. If the family has several of them, this stage lasts from the moment when the eldest child "left the nest" and until this makes the younger child. This stage is characterized by the fact that both spouses have already felt that soon they'll be two of us and they almost would have to re-establish a life together. In addition, the period is characterized by the fact that spouses usually have to get used to the new roles grandparents;
- At this stage, all the children have left home parents, and people are experiencing such crisis periods in the development of marital relations, which in some cases can be called alone together. As strange as it may seem, there are many families who fall apart at this stage, especially for young grandparents who "breath" the second youth. This also refers to couples who have lived "habit"for the kids. Any of the children could not acquire their own unit of society and still live with their parents. Of course, an educational function, the spouses do not perform;
- This is the final stage of the cycle, which lasts until the last days of life. The period is characterized by the retirement, through young families to their children. It is important that between them and the children have an understanding that we need to build throughout life. In this period the spouses are aimed at raising grandchildren, often people are concerned with their health.
Each period is characterized by the crisis stages, the output of which will depend on whether the family relations on a new level.
Often the crises are resolved by the divorce – not being able to accept new optionstion, obligations and fulfil them, people simply refuse to further build family.
To avoid this, you need to know about such periods, their causes and ways out, which usually boil down to one thing – understanding.
Just being able to listen to the partner, to reckon with his opinion and position can help to overcome the crisis.
Almost all psychologists agree that the crises that accompany the life cycle of the cell of society, are an absolutely normal phenomenon which allows its members to reconsider values and right to enter into the next stage of marital relations.