Polygamous male: myth or reality?
One of the most controversial issues in the psychology of the sexes — on the polygamy of men and monogamy of women. Whether nature has awarded us with the opposite qualities? What opportunities do you see this in both sexes? Let's deal.
What does the term "polygamist"
In nature, the polygamous tendency is males and females mating with several representatives of their species, without formation of a permanent pair. This is a common way associated with reproduction, not only because there are pairs of animals, connected to life not only reproduction, but also care about him.
Note that while people with no choice and instinct dictates them either polygamous or monogamous behaviour model.
People have a polygamist from the point of view of the law of marriage is called polyandry and megagene that in modern Western society is prohibited by law. Interestingly, if, for example, a person had multiple consecutive marriages at different times, it cannot be considered polygamous.
In everyday understanding, a polygamist is considered to be the desire for numerous sexual relations.
Situations in which such a commitment is implemented, are many:
- romantic relationships outside of marriage;
- open relationship in a pair;
- swinging (the exchange of sexual partners);
- sex without commitment;
- sexy drift — moving from one partner to another in a circle, without breaking relations.
Thus, polygamous in many ways this is cheating, but with a touch of unconscious, animal motivation, which, in the opinion of some, protects from moral condemnation.
The male version of polygamy is generally perceived by society more tolerant than women. The men would be allowed to want diversity, sexually desiring many women and strive to reach them. Moreover, in a man's world numerous love Affairs raise the credibility in the eyes of friends and employees, and even serve as a source of pride in some and envy others.
It is worth noting that so consider not everything, and most people still look at relationships as being between one man and one woman. Many are opposed to traditions, still surviving in some countries, according to which a man is allowed to have several wives at the same time. And it is quite unusual, the idea of multiple husbands, which, however, is not found at all.
Motivation polygamous partner
Since polygamy is not an orientation or an innate instinct in the daily life of its place somewhere in the middle between belief and myth.
Why do some people declare their polygamous or just protecting her idea? Than comfortable this position? Rather, it is a point of view of the man, not wanting the conversation to look old-fashioned and uptight, or clumsy method womanizer to justify their promiscuity.
Family counselors working with conflicts between spouses, faced with the intransigence of husband and wife not only in household matters, but in the opposite views on life. What to do if husband approves of polygamy?
Is this evidence of his desire to change? Psychologists say that it is not necessary. Sometimes we just adhere to some view of life, but do not intend to act in accordance with it. If the spouse does not go to the left, and only sometimes says that nature has given him this desire, this does not mean that he will definitely use the opportunity to change his wife.
But perhaps he should stop to provoke the loved one, if it is difficult to tolerate such "broadmindedness". For some, it may be idle chatter, for some reason to be jealous, and it would be a pity if conversations on point of view will destroy the family from within.
Another thing, if the man was convicted of treason and tries to justify his actions as a cynical statement — "I polygamy and the point". The motive of this faith in the polygamous men shallow and selfish, it is easy to prove. Cheating always was and is a reason for divorce, not to mention the cooling of the senses of the deceived partner.
Responsibility for the act contradicts the morals of marriage, the man should bear to the full. This fear of losing a spouse, and the recognition of guilt, and the full realization of the baseness of his act.
But men, professing the idea of polygamy, use this excuse to absolve itself, not only the guilt and consequences of infidelity, and to close it against any attacks in the address. Thus, they are not only innocent in his own eyes, but don't want to hear complaints and see the consequences of their destructive actions.
Position such as this has nothing to do with the hardness of belief, this is actually the pose of a selfish and a coward, hiding behind some "natural laws", the essence of which he hardly understands.
Why monogamy and polygamous equate to the law of nature?
Indeed, one of the most outrageous ideas that are attributed to men's polygamy, it's her naturalness. The desire of men to have multiple sexual partners allegedly dictated by nature.
A convenient statement that you want to do some good for the womanizer conclusions:
- cheating is nothing personal, it's just nature;
- to condemn as meaningless as angry at the weather;
- any oaths of allegiance frivolous and unnatural.
Proponents of polygamy are not willing to listen to arguments, which lead biologists, found on monogamy in birds, fish and primates, which is why it is so often cited as an example "herd marriage".
As uninteresting to them, and contradictions in their "theory", because in nature within the same species there should be only one principle — either the males are polygamous or not. And if polygamy was instinct, he would have acted on all of the people, while there are faithful spouses, and monogamous.
Actually, the real evidence of science and of life are not necessary supporters of polygamy. Their main benefit is a fitting name for their sexual promiscuity or psychological issues ("like both!").
The only thing to fear so convinced polygamous males, that real change in personal life. It happens in Mature age comes a different understanding of happiness, weakens the need for sexual victories, man learns to establish itself in another area, there is only a woman...
How, then, have to do with an innate, irresistible, almost genetic polygamous? Pretending to be spiritually healed, to believe in God, to renounce past sins — "his sight" often hide behind religion just as they did with the natural instinct.
The position of polygamy, thus, is disadvantageous and fragile. Consider it just some of the areas of science, such as historical sociology, or Zoology.
In modern psychology relationship she apparently did not place: any reference to the unconscious or innate pattern of behavior deprive people of the opportunity to change according to my conscious choices and learn from their own experience, to draw conclusions from their behavior.