What is "syndrome of delayed life"?
The syndrome of delayed life – a disease which sufferers do not know how to be happy today and always find a reason for this. The impression that people do not live and rehearse. Seeing someone, in the expectation of "real feelings", as you work, until you offer a decent place, etc.
And then I realize that life has passed by and to catch up with her have no way. Awareness leads to nervous breakdown and depression. How to get rid of the syndrome of delayed life?
Causes and symptoms of the disease, associated with the "expectation of happiness"
How to understand that the symptoms of psychological illness already present?
- Constantly telling everyone "doing it, but it's my talent does not match".
- Overcoming the obstacle, allegedly impeding development, there is erected next, the same significant.
- Can't settle for real, even if it opens up significant prospects.
- Funds are deposited on some important goal, with real needs do not seem important.
- Trying to take responsibility for other people's actions, but to leave out the "field of view" of others. Own emotions hidden and suppressed.
Why can't I accept reality?
It is very difficult to learn to accept the course of events, if they are formulated from the outside. But totally regardless of the surrounding and circumstances it is impossible to live.
Always think that tomorrow will be better than today. Human life is unpredictable, tomorrow may never come at all.
Stopping to enjoy life about the feeling of conscience: "How can I go to the resort in an expensive hotel when there are so many poor?" You would think that if you relax on a 6-hectare garden, then the poor will be rich.
The benefits of syndrome deferred life
Suffer from this syndrome in most cases busy people who have not reached the heights of career. Their psychology: I can, but since no one understands, then I will prove it to you. Then when the time is right the circumstances by themselves.
That is, a person does nothing to change their lives, but he creates the illusion that only he lives, and lives right.
This position is beneficial:
- It is possible to solve the conflict now, it's fine.
- Why to do something for loved ones and yourself? Effort spent on others, they appreciate it, and he... To their problems and needs eyes closed.
- Irresponsibility is not realized around the same "value".
- You can live half-heartedly, without hesitation. Now comes tomorrow, and then it will have to mobilize.
Even if you understand that life as something strange occurs she doesn't get satisfaction, there is something to calm yourself – you're responsible and reliable,... random "satellites".
How to return to the present?
Psychology syndrome deferred life space real. Live passes by, people change. To continue to feel frustration – life is passed, and the bright future did not come, you must learn to live in the present.
Easy to say, "you Need to learn to be happy with what is happening, and the people around you". How to come to this if already formed the habit of living for tomorrow?
You need to clearly define not only the goal but also the time required to spend on achieving it. Record the steps that were approaching. It is necessary then to understand – the goal is to be happy.
The goal is to meet the requirements:
- it only concerns myself;
- depends on yourself;
- when it is reached you need to rely on their interests;
- it should be achievable.
Every day you need to allocate time, when live in the present here and now and devote it to yourself, to do something interesting. Example: not your conscience, if you want to spend time in the garage. At this time, Pets will do a, they will also be the time for their own Affairs.
When you start to do what is interesting to you right now, with real concern, each day will be given more time. And, then, the reasons for joy will be greater.
Spending time for yourself, be sure to perform, what goals have been achieved, to savor pleasant moments. Separated from loved ones is not a betrayal.
On the contrary, when you start to live for yourself, be real, and it helps. If people are aware of the real needs, then it is easier to be around. They see a living person, not a"hero".
Every act what is meant.
Never had to think about that when choosing how to act, betray their own goals in favor of the interests of others – or be "selfish".
Making a choice between yourself and others, want to protect their own interests, to act according to our principles. You need to constantly remind myself that its life is more valuable than the life of even very close.
Devoting a life to someone, not only consider their needs, but also to impose their understanding of the situation different. This prevents both experience satisfaction at achieving the goal.
This is not really to be selfish and throw back the interests of others for their own benefit. You need to very clearly feel the distinction between "salvation" and "help".
As soon as you begin to save man, take responsibility for his actions, he has the opportunity to manipulation.
Help please – everyone reaches for the joint efforts of its goal. "Salvation" – you have to work for someone else at the expense of yourself. Satisfaction from such actions will not be achieved, you will feel used.
Consolation will be already familiar. Today for time left, but tomorrow! And tomorrow, as noted, may not come.
You need to learn your feelings to Express openly.
Do not hide the real emotions, to hide the attitude behind the mask.
You do not want to hesitate to speak the truth, to soften the view from behind the imaginary virtues does not meet the expectations of the companion. No one is to blame for his plight and inability to control their own life. If together, then the responsibility should be equal.
All the problems are solved on a rolling basis. No need to smooth out the rough edges.
If you have to wait for tomorrow, the time you need to spend with benefit and pleasure. The waiting is also living. If it gets wasted, the pleasure to receive from the future which can be quite different to fail.
The future, as we see it in dreams, in fact, may not be. It can be quite different.
To make it easier to imagine, is to lead by example.
Woman does plastic surgery as in life there is no happiness due to improper shape of the nose.
Will be a beautiful nose, making the opposite gender at work will offer the "showcase" position.
Plastic made, the nose has changed. And suddenly the woman notices that I expected to look somewhat different, and around her nose the"right" way didn't react.
Nothing is to be expected, luckily in the future eternal detachment does not. You need to realize once and for all – can live only in the present.
Every step in the present and brings the bright future.